venture capitalism, part 2: a love affair by cyle gage

i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii. viii. ix. x. xi. xii. xiii. xiv. xv. xvi.
those silver eyes; the
jewelry beside my bed
is growing in number,
gilding my dreams.
conquering myself as much as
the next girl always had the
opportunity to leave but never
the will to forget, the way
she turns to see me when
I enter the room, the way
she watches me walk
how does one learn to open? where do my eyes go at night, among skylights and stars. music comes from sparrows' wings, daffodils. i put one letter before another, sometimes out of sequence, and my Qs taste like js. between subways and street corners are stop signs. drums and nostalgia. the sexiest thing a man can do is shave, all in its vulnerability. there are things a man cannot do alone: breathe, brush teeth, stress. what man does alone: play games, sigh, relax, smell nice. i forgot her name, i was looking busy. put pressure on shoulders and silence. Rise.
you know these things.
tables. chairs. making rooms.
inside our nestled village.
who cares, anyway?
the whats we have forgotten
are noisy saturday nights caught
in the glisten of a child's lens;
how the world solarizes
at its strange touch.

I am without. I wear the below
of my shorts extended. outside
I am the magician, disassociating.
I don't know how to feel that way anymore.
i've no more to give
than the shallow waters of man
the treaded earth, sullen,
seas parted like a child's hair
trapped inside a bosom
is a flesh we can love, breathe,
soar above and live within

i've no more to give
than the violins and doves at sunset
the prickling of the hour from clock
to wish and dear a heart beyond
our time and longing history
it is in the eyes and the touch
a science lofty and wild

between the ears of our lover
there is a concerto where
a fire would blaze; a gasp
where a finger had laid,
a smile where a smile is needed

i've no more to give
a dragon-pair of nightmares
a soldier knows
what hands to hold
what skin to touch
what fetish i have
in the strength of man
between myself and
his confessions
those who sleep in ruin
dare not dream
those who sleep
deaden by chance, timber
and lust; they shiver
enough time to think
enough time to breathe
to make a smile on a face

it was in light that i first saw her
in the morning, pausing afternoon
lips that could push memories

her turquoise rings, put out bare
i have seen into those alien oceans
i have been before their vision

within a softer breath of time
I could see an edge of her reality
walking along its infinity in circles

tightly drawn like dormroom curtains
hiding sun and stars from skin,
naked flesh, supple and entwined

i have laid a hand on her breast,
a kiss on her thigh, a thought
between her crossed legs

those are all the ideas i have
all the fingers have touched
stretched up toward the sky
I am creative when others write
towards sex, after beauty-sense
on long extensions into the sea
what girl of mine could love
this love when love has expiration
how through our guarded heart
is a date and a time and a place
what edges, what bones, what flesh I love
an unfolding love steadily withering
precious in descent
daisies in a mechanic’s pocket
dancing on the reynolds’ lawn
placing devils before their due
softness of opiates, dread
pointing patterns upwards then
falling down upon my head
a bishop’s hovel
is small, dense, and
dark like God

mulberry bushes
crimson poison
altered communion

of unsleeping flesh
misdirected, alone
fresh like death
tidied my heart with scissors
replaced their blades with fingers
from the hands of diggers

rough from hands to holding
is a delicate breath, a smile
worn to wear and chosen

a glass of water, break of bread
these are feelings I might accept
an unwed mother, a silhouette
they drain the park-lake in march;
I find myself midstep in streets
wondering where I am in water
watching two dogs tied together
chase each other, these
last bitch-throes of winter

april’s blood-mixing drinks
between scarlet and emotion
are sensitive remixes, brothers
fighting over girls; i am
the last bottle of the night
having forgotten the way home
of all red doves
the children have all gone

of all red blood
the distance has all gone

in all red blood
the distance has never gone

in my red blood
the distance has always gone

for my red blood
that distance, gone

in my red
distance

red doves
gone
all this time I've had it wrong
how I've been both proud and strong
bright and sly just as a song

how you've worked into my arms
riding trains and carousels
shaping stars and great beyonds

hair like yarn in plastic bags
inside your eyes out of my mind
yank the heart from my insides